Pagi ini ia ingin berpuisi

Pagi ini entah setan mana yang merasuki jiwanya

Memerintahkannya menulis sebuah puisi

muntahan kata-kata sok puitis dari lidahnya yang sering kaku saat berbicara

pagi ini ia curahkan dari tinta pena biru muda di atas buku tulis jelek pemberian teman baiknya

puisi ini tidak bercerita apa-apa

tanpa arah tanpa rasa bak belahan kayu pohon tua dalam buku Ayn Rand

yang membuat jiwa-jiwa melolong ketakutan melihat kejujuran sebuah kayu

yang lebih menyedihkan bahkan dari sebuah filem modern hitam putih bisu yang tak dimengertinya

Ketidak-mengertian sangat dibencinya dalam-dalam

puisi ini ia tuliskan di sela-sela hangatnya matahari di hari libur

dan deru mesin penggilas keramik sayup-sayup terdengar dari kejauhan

satu dua tiga “ting” getar telepon genggamnya

yang sejak pagi tak berhenti mengoceh akan peristiwa-peristiwa sederhana tak penting ala manusia

ia bergeming

bak Dewi Ayu yang bergeming di atas ranjang ketika akan disetubuhi tentara Jepang

bergeming atas nasib buruknya yang menjadikannya pelacur dari masa kolonial Belanja sampai masa perang gerilya

Ah betapa hari indah untuk berjalan-jalan


lalu bergeming

dan pulas tertidur.


Cardio/Life Talks

Everyone who tries saying he loves cardio next time you have a conversation around gym talk going on, that is complete BS. Yes I am such a gym person nowadays. Believe me, I hate it. Nobody though, not even a long time runner likes cardio. Indeed I am talking about myself. I picked up running as side hobby besides reading and crapping around about how the world supposed to work like everybody else, I picked up running as something I am proud of as part of myself. I have been running at least once a week from around 4 years ago after I had myself failed the running test in my school and had swollen lips for a month. Yeah not a good reason to pick a hobby.

Cardio is a pain in the back. Everything you know about diet, healthy life, and balance life BS that came out from the tip of my tongue were such complete exaggerations. Why? Nothing that I listed out to you is fun to do. Eating healthy food is not that good. Going to the gym once every two days is so tiring. Balancing life between social life, healthy life, religious life, relationship life, family life, and everything in between all that is so hard to do. Yet all I was saying this to myself, “get up, balance out your life.” When you only have 24 hours a day, you cannot pick all. That is the fact that you need to live with.

Let me get to other point that balance life in other writing.

I have stopped drinking from last december. My religious belief prohibits me to drink for any reasons. Although compromises were made to justify what I did:

  1. I drink but I don’t drunk.
  2. I drink with friends.
  3. I only take wine

When I decided to stopped drinking, my weight was 60ish. For me, 60ish is not normal. I had always claimed girls who did not take care of their bodies were lazy heads until it came to me. So I stopped drinking as one of my diet plans, not because of my belief. Looking back today, I think that was very cheap reason. I should have stopped drinking because of what I believe in. That would be more noble. Then I found out as I was doing my cardio this morning, that my belief is not that strong. Sometimes the idea of God just vanished inside myself when all I believe that God is within or without us. This too will be explained more in some other time.

This morning as I picked up my cardio. Twas indeed the hardest cardio. Usually I have nice long 5k run around 30 mins. All I did, except from running, was counting down the distance, moving up and down the speed because it was either too slow-looking at the distance that was not coming down- or too fast-looking at my exhausted body. Then It struck me, running used to be fun. My house is only 3 km from the west coast of Lombok. Mom used to drove me to the beach and left me there running. It used to be just as tiring yet fun to do. When you run around not timed, no target, no pressure, everything seems easier, a lot easier if you run with such beautiful view. Started from the diet plan, I started running in treadmill. 5k. 30-40mins normally. inclination for some degree. Then I started to get anxious and mad when I get halfway because my body got so weak but the journey was far from over. Cardio, then, became so hard to do.

However, I keep doing the cardio, the diet, all the business case cracking, and all the little shit that I have done for this 2016 to fill the resolution: FACE YOUR FEARRRRRR. What fear to be exact? Any form of fear. Any kind of fear. You see, life works that way. You keep on doing what you hate, loving people who hurt your feeling for the 1786th time, staying in the same circle over and over again just to keep it going. To keep life going. Running has been a part of myself that if I stopped doing it, I might lose it. People keep things that are such pain in their life to define their life. Weird if you think about it deeper.

What is it though with humans?



Life went too rapid i found myself in the verge of teenage. Couple days from this very 3:14 am I will turn 20. I have been thinking about most things that I have never thought about before. Thinking about what I had gone through so far has gotten me to the point where I feel really small and everything seems much bigger and closer and, too be frank, much real. Life is getting real.

So what goes on in my head:

  1. What is your thesis going to be about?
  2. Where do you want to go after school?
  3. What industry will you be in say 10 years from now?
  4. What are you going to do when you’re 40?
  5. Where are you going to stay in the long term?
  6. What kind of person do you want to spend every day with?
  7. Where are you going to raise your kids?

Those questions are amongst the long lists that are endless. To be honest, I am scared.

The Gili

Hello everyone! If you are reading my blog now and still reading it, I’d like to let you know that I decided to take my open water scuba diving course!!! I took the course at the infamous Gili and what I meant as the gili was Gili Trawangan. Gili T is located very close with my house. Only 30 minutes driving passed my backyard hilly house down to the north part of Lombok where the port to the famous three gills located. The port itself is called as Bangsal. From Bangsal, you can just take the dirt cheap public boat to any gili you want. It would cost you exactly 15.000,00 rupiahs for each person with additional taxes. They have vast amount of local boats that would carry you perfectly safe each in every 10 minutes. Yes, you don’t have to wait long and afraid the boat will leave you. If you are the type of person who hate to spend 25 minutes on a public boat with local people and some backpackers from around the world, you can use the speed boat. If you rent the speed boat for your family it would cost you around 800.000,00 rupiahs for a boat with two ways service. Otherwise you can use the public speed boat which would cost you for 75.000,00 rupiahs for each person (one way). The choices do vary from dirt cheap to luxurious service! Don’t worry! Whatever the type of traveller you are, they always have the service just right for you. My advice? Personally I thought It does not take a super long time if you use the cheap public boat!

Ok then that’s that about how to get there. What about other stuff to do? Other than diving, I tried so many new things in this visit. Such as riding around the island! Haha I know! I called myself as local but never been around the island with a bike. Sometimes you are a local at some place but never tried the most common thing about your place. Weird, isn’t it? This visit lasted for 4 days so I had plenty time to do everything I had never done before.

Morning Sunrise

I did saw the sunrise in Gili for many times before! DUH this was not my first time.
IMG_0585We woke up at around 5.30 to get the best colours of the first sunrise. Oh indeed it was such a beauty!

IMG_0604The vast land of pretty mountains of Lombok as seen from Gili.


The top of Rinjani, second tallest mountain in Indonesia, in morning clarity.

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Morning walk along the coast.

Morning Ride


Rent a bike! (50.000,00 rupiahs for 24 hours) Go around the island in between your courses. The best bike riding experience you can ever ask for.


The west part of the island.


The cutest place to live? Le pirate beach club! Love the service for it gave me free place to read a book and do nothing.

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Yes your dream life! What is it that you ask for when you have all the time in your life to do nothing but daydreaming and chill around have a swim? More summertime of course!


The STUD: horse riding track just near the beach.


Rent a bike is way too mainstream? Then rent a horse!


Cidomo: The horse taxi!

The Sanctuary


Sunbathing is such a fun thing to do! It releases the good hormones such as melatonin and serotonin that are just right to make your brain feel happy and relax. It burns away all the manic panic depression you always get every single day. However sometimes the beach gets too crowded especially at this time of the year, perhaps you need just one time to be spaced out from people. Gili gets to packed up this time of summer. It happened to me almost every time-a private space was my staple need. So what I did was I rode my bike and just stopped wherever i felt safe and nice. 

Then I saw that little hilly by the side of the road. I stopped and just like that, like falling in love-you have no idea when and where it would happen, I found my perfect private sanctuary. For awhile.


Sun screen? Nah, i don’t believe in sun screen. It harms your skin to be honest! From some articles I read, sun screen does prevent the good stuff brought by the sun ray. It also brings more risk for skin cancer. Indeed it helps you not getting too burnt out. Its ability to keep you from burning is the scariest ability ever! Yet it does not mean you can just veg around under the sun for 24 hours! You need to know the best timing and period for your own body and skin tone. It is all about knowing what exactly your body needs. Just bring enough water with you next time you go on sunbathing. It’s important to keep yourself hydrated while sunbathing. 

However, to keep my lips from cracking, I brought my Yves Saint Laurent lip vernis (shade no. 27) in my bag to the beach. To be honest, I love lipstick. I love everything about it – the shopping time, the trying time, the finding your perfect colour time, the telling you girlfriends what’s the best lipstick in time – everything! This nude colour is awesome!


Currently reading: All the light we cannot see.



Oh so good!

The Bars

Ok, so these are my personal suggestions where to eat and hang around at:

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Pearl beach club (left side of the port): great place to have a drink and just chill around. Not recommended for ordering food. Great place to wait the sunrise.


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Serene sunset (west side of the island): On detox? Don’t worry! just like pearl beach club, serene sunset offers best experience for the view and the fresh juices. A nice place to see the sunset.

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The beach house restaurant: BEST FOOD in gili, no exaggeration! Nice place for breakie, lunch, or dinner. Price: normal price. Offers various types of food.

Otherwise you can hang around at Egoïste Beach Club (right side of the port) for the pizza and tapas, Sama-Sama Reggae Bar (left side of the port) for some night noise and live music, Kayu Cafe (left side of the port) for the coffee. Also the night fish market (left side of the port) was great for a little grilled Indonesian food (Don’t order seafood at the market, it has just the same price as in the restaurant!). What about Scallywags (left side of the port)? A BIG NO for breakfast, a BIGGER NO for grilled seafood – overpriced and, to be honest, tasted super bad.

You’re still reading this? Ah I love you. Anyway school and meetings are just around the corner. It was such a nice diving trip around Gili Trawangan. Let me know if you have your personal recommended places at the Gili. P.S I’ve been around all the small islands of Lombok, so let me know what you think!

Photos: taken by self with no further editing. (Because who has the time to edit everything?)